Friday, September 23, 2011
The Grace Window
It's been awhile since my last blog. I don't feel comfortable sharing the whys or what or how. Not yet. I will soon. I'm learning to be real, and I'm learning it's ok to say you are having a hard time.
In fact, it's ok to say you are just downright hurting. Why do we act like everything is ok? Why do I care about what other people think?
Emily Freeman, from Chatting at the Sky, just released a beautiful book, Grace for the Good Girl. The cover alone makes my soul sigh with relief. I can just feel all the crazy chaos slip away and be replaced with grace.
It's for you. It's for me. It's a window that opens to another world. A world where I can be real. A world where if I'm hurting, I'm not too prideful to tell you so. If my marriage is crumbling, I can plead for prayer. A place where I can shamefully say that I care more about what others think about me than what God thinks of me. It's true. I said it. We're being real here.
I'm a good girl. I want to be viewed as a good mom, good wife, good friend, good student, good nurse practitioner, good everything.
Did I forget I'm human? I've closed the window of Grace. I instead choose to live in my own little four-walls of self.
With His Grace timing, I was able to meet Emily and her sister The Nester at a book signing at the Nester's house.
Can we take a moment to just let this soak in??? I was in the Nester's living room, with her adorable sister, and a myriad of book decorations. Oh, and some of the best friends I could ever have. Ever.
When I got to the table to meet Emily, I poured out my heart. I gave a mini lecture on the last 8 weeks of my life, and I saw her eyes brim with tears. This is being real. She and her friend reached out to me and my friends. We connected as sisters in Christ, and I saw the Grace window.
The Nester is adorably real as well. I felt like a stalker somewhat, because I knew why she had tree stumps in her front hallway, as well as a swordfish over her TV. I know her living room, ya'll. I visit it daily through her blog, and I was having an out of body experience as I stood in her kitchen, talking with her about her decorating style. And, the best part, we made it on her blog. No one else will know who we are, except those few who know me, but it made my heart laugh.
I really have no more words. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be real with other women. Enjoy my photographic journey at the book signing!!