Lately, I have been pondering beginnings. My beginnings, specifically. I have felt quite nostalgic...My soundtrack theme, if able to be heard by others instead of just myself, would have been the music playing in the background when Anne and Diana stood at the edge of a cliff, watching the sunset...
I am almost done with the second semester of teaching the nursing students, who happen to be all girls. They remind me of my younger self....the one who could stay up late cramming for a test and still survive the next day. This group has been through personal heartache, lost friends too young, said good-bye to fellow classmates too soon, and sweated through many dressing changes of complex wounds...without fainting.
I am so proud of them. I know what they are going through, and I know they will never forget these days. Crushing medications for tube administration will become less exciting as they learn more, and trach care will be as simple as brushing their own teeth.
But right now, those things are enough to cramp your stomach with nerves on clinical days...it is enough to wake you up every hour, afraid you will oversleep. It is enough to make you question the whys of this journey and maybe lose sight of the reason.
I would know. I've been there.
I am still there.
And that is why I wake up on Saturday morning, one of my two days off, to remind them they are making a difference. To hopefully inspire them to dream a little longer..a little bigger.
To learn from them the "why" of my journey.
In a few weeks, I will find out if I have been accepted into a doctoral program to further my nursing journey.
I like to think that someone will be to me what I am to these students...
But more than that, I like to imagine that these girls will always remember these stomach-cramping days....and share their love of life and people with students just like them.
The picture of me in purple scrubs was taken the first day of nursing clinical ever. I still remember this day so clearly, even though it was taken at 4:30 am by my dear roommate, Anna Lee. You can see the excitement on my face, and it still makes my heart smile.