"C'mon, Momma. C'mon", he says with excitement edging his baby voice. His little hand is cupped out, while his dirty boy fingers motion toward himself. He is beckoning to me, and I have no idea who taught him this. He tiptoes ahead a few steps, then turns his wispy head around to check my progress. I'm unable to move, caught in an overwhelming realization that my child is leading me.
How do we decide that certain actions are better than others? We aspire to lead, and we tend to snub noses at those who are in a season of following.
Today, as my 3 foot tall little man led me into the living room, I realized it was ok to be led. As women, we take on burdens from our family, friends, people in the grocery store, and maybe even from last night's 20/20 episode. We like to fix. We like to mend broken pieces with our hot glue gun. We are crafty like that. We want to lead others the way we think is best, but they have their own mind. They may not follow, and that crushes us.
And that's ok. Perhaps it's time to take a deep breath, put aside that stick that the tour guides use with the flag on the end, and just be you. Stop trying to fix everything and lead everyone into the Promised Land. There will be seasons when it is time for you to forge a trail, but this may be your season to rest and actually follow what God wants you to do, not what you want everyone else to do.
I admit, I'm a fixer. I'm a planner. By this time in my life, I was sure I would have at least another baby on the way, debt paid off, husband in his dream job , 20+ lbs lost, and a bucketful of more things that would probably make you think I'm very shallow. But, I'm being real.
None of those things above have gone according to my plan. I've got to let go of that hot glue gun that tries to piece everything together. I've got to surrender the blueprints. This is one area that I shouldn't be leading, but following.
My little Jonah is oblivious to the life lesson he has taught. He reminded me to be me. Anna. An imperfect girl in an imperfect world with imperfect people...but our Father is perfect. He's the true tour guide. He's the only one that should be holding that stick with the flag on the end.