Thursday, September 24, 2009

Chapter Three: To Jonah

Dear Jonah,
As I write this, you are resting on my mom's chest, also known as "Sha-Sha". Hopefully, one day you can read this post by yourself, and I am sure it will be when you are three because you are so smart already:) I believe we have a genius!!! The fact that you are home is amazing to me, and I am glad that you probably won't remember your first few days of life in the hospital. I know I will never forget, but despite the bumpy road home, we were blessed the entire time.
Your first few hours in the world were so peaceful! You were very alert, and you just liked to stare at people with those crossed eyes. We spent the majority of the day trying to decide who you looked like. We think you have my nose and cheeks; you definitely have the Sams' eyes. You have an ET toe like Daddy, and a beautiful head of hair! You had lots of visitors come to see you. You are definitely loved!
The first night, neither your mom or dad slept at all. Each hour was a new discovery of who you were and why you did what you did. Each cry meant something different. It only took two episodes to realize that you HATE to have a poopy diaper; you will not wait to get changed at all, even in the middle of a feeding!!! You only cried when you needed something. We were either changing your diaper, feeding you, or trying to adjust the thermostat because it was either too hot or cold. You take after your mom in that respect.
The second day, you were a little different, but I couldn't put my finger on it. You were still so cuddly, but you weren't feeding as well and seemed warmer than normal. We couldn't quite get you settled. Your nurse, Casey, took your temperature and it was high. You had to have bloodwork, and your pediatrician decided that due to the fever and one certain test (a test that is vague but says "something" is going on, we just don't know what), you were moved to the nursery so you could have IV antibiotics. Your mom and dad had to move to another room on a general floor, and you had to be stuck with a little needle so you could get your medicine.
When I saw your little IV, it broke my heart. Only a few hours old, and already you were being poked and prodded! You hated that IV, and your dad and I say you are definitely ours; we hate to be tied down with anything, also!!!
The next morning, we were told that I had to leave and you had to stay. I couldn't imagine leaving you, and I cried alot. Your dad and I both cried, because everything was so unknown. The pediatrician seemed to think you could leave Thursday, but it could even be Friday!
We went home that afternoon and left you there. Even though I knew we would see you that evening, we cried buckets all the way home. Who could have known that someone you just laid eyes on could have such a hold on your heart???
We got home, and your grandparents had put a blue bow on the mailbox and door. A little blue garden flag marked the entrance to our driveway announcing a baby boy! We both cried again as we pulled in the driveway; you weren't with us! All the neighbrhood kids came out to welcome you home, but you weren't there. They were so excited to see you, and you will have a lot of playmates!
We went back that evening, and we sat with you for awhile. We fed and loved on you, and then we left. We knew you were in good hands, because my good friend Michelle was your nurse for that day and the next. We slept somewhat decently, but it was hard not to have you there.
The next morning, we woke up and got to the hospital. Michelle was all smiles! Good news...your blood cultures haven't grown anything, you have had no fevers, and you are feeding and sleeping well!! We were so excited. We got to take you home, and it was surreal actually pulling up with you in the car this time. We aren't nervous, just thankful that you are well and are home. Our hearts go out to other parents who have to leave their babies in the hospital for way longer than we did. We also have a new understanding for what it is like to have a child and love them more than you thought you could. You are a blessing, Jonah! We look forward to learning all about you, and we already know that you have stolen our hearts!

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