I had a friend comment on my wall "I keep checking your blog for Day 16". At that moment, I realized that I have not been faithful with my 31 days. I know it's not a big deal, and I know that we aren't getting an award for it...but still...
I laughed inside, because an ENTIRE week had passed with me thinking it had only been 2 days since I last posted. That, my friends, is the sign of needing to just BE STILL.
On my run a few evenings ago, I broke out of my 'good girl' shell. I actually finished my run ON THE GOLF COURSE. Can I just tell you how nervous I was? I realize for some this may seem like nothing, but I've been told by the golf course rule books, neighborhood watch team, realtor, and countless others that the golf course is not supposed to be walked on during operation hours. That deep feeling inside of me that always wants to "do good", "be right", "not have anyone every upset at me", had to be squashed. I stepped out of my comfort zone and cooled down on the windy path of the course.
If you had seen me from one of the houses, you would have noticed a girl sweating profusely, red in the face, occasionally stealing glances over her shoulder. Really, I know this is probably an issue that needs counseling, but we have neighborhood watch retirees that are constantly watching to make sure we don't break a rule. As I grew closer to my home and saw the little pond, I felt so free. I felt like I had time to just Be.
The pond water was calm, with intermittent ripples from the wind. I was reminded of Psalm 23: He leads me beside quiet waters...He restores my soul...
I needed to be led beside quiet waters. I needed to be forced to be still. Restored. Renewed.
I needed to just BE. Not do, not talk, not keep myself busy to avoid thinking about current life situations.
Take time to BE this weekend.